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my husband and i got married three years ago. we have a 20 month old daughter and another baby on the way. My husband does not enjoy spending any time wih me. He enjoys the company of his friends more and would prefer to be with them more then me. I have tried asking nicely, arguing and even preparing romantice meals so he could appreciate me more but i think he has lost all interest. I feel so lonely i dont know what to do.... i want to get a divorce but i dont want my children to be without a father... what shall i do.. sometimes i wish i was dead rather then married....
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Im in the exact same boat. I have two children and one on the way and my husband goes out every night to be with his friends for the past 3 weeks and Its getting really depressing to be home alone every night and having to explain to the kids that daddy wont be home till late. I dont know what to do, cause I cant talk to him. He is either under the influence of beer, cause he drinks before he comes home, or he is high. he says he is doing nothing wrong by hanging with his friends and he says he doesnt enjoy being home cause we fight, but we dont fight till I find out he made plans to go out again. He thinks Im crazy and tells me this is who he is and if I dont like it then either I can make changes or find someone who will make me happy. Im depressed now cause we are expecting our third baby girl and we have been married for 6 years. I cant even find a way out of this mess. I could not afford a place big enough for me and three kids and have no one to go live with. Im stuck and wish I was never pregnant, but Im 5 months along and there is nothing i can do about it. Its almost suicidal....
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anyone have any answeres to my posting
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im in my 2nd year of my second marraige. over the past year I have noticed more he wants to plan things with his friends than spend time with just him and I. we used to go fishing go to the beach, now he plans things with his friends and tells me afterwords. then he says I can come if I want. I want to and probably would if we had time just the two of us first. I have arranged a day to go fishing and before we even go he calls his friends and says we are going fishing you should meet us there. He is a truck driver and is gone alot days at a time and other days I am on call with my job so I want to cherish the days off together. when we do get time together he chooses to stay home and drink some beers but I am bored of sitting home looking at the same walls with him talking about the same things. He has been sleeping alot lately and with the time out with his friends we went a day or so not talking much, then just the other day, he came to me and told me he was dying and only had 5 years to live. he said he knew for 8 months but didn't want to tell me because I was dealing with my dad dying . I feel angry and sad at the same time. he also doesn't want me to tell anyone nor does he want treatment, he claims he has accepted it. his father died of the same thing at a young age. I told him I wanted to go with him to the doctor for a conference. he said he would schedule an appointment, incase I didn't believe him. I told him it wasn't that I didn't believe him but that it was rather alot to dump on someone and as your wife I have a right to hear it from the doctor to. His choice not to tell family or friends is his right and his fears of being treated different is porbably true, and I respect those wishes, however he told me tonight he was going somewhere with his buddy this weekend and I told him that I would like to do something just him and I and he didn't answer me. what do I do. who do I talk to. should I say we need to see a therapist? should I be patient for the doctors appointment ? should I give him a time frame to make the appointment? should I just ask for a divorce?
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You deserve better and so do your children. Leave him, maybe he will comes to his senses - if not then dump him.
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I agree, dump him, you will find someone who wants to spend time with you and your children - you and the children deserve this.
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dump him, he won't change, mine hasn't
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