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my husband and i got married three years ago. we have a 20 month old daughter and another baby on the way. My husband does not enjoy spending any time wih me. He enjoys the company of his friends more and would prefer to be with them more then me. I have tried asking nicely, arguing and even preparing romantice meals so he could appreciate me more but i think he has lost all interest. I feel so lonely i dont know what to do.... i want to get a divorce but i dont want my children to be without a father... what shall i do.. sometimes i wish i was dead rather then married....
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Am going through the same situation,bt all we need to do is pray!
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Married 50 years after 46 yrs of living in this situation,found out its very un healthy . I had no idea. the bond between my husband and the latest buddy ,they were in church,but both talked about their wives,women in general. badly. Overheard a conversation,between them,they get into things ,like they are young ,single ,they cover protected each other ,their secrets.till has almost destroyed families ,marriages ,lives... but if u love him,then hold on,hope husband sees ,before damage done. No situations ,people or results are the same...Hope works out for you.
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A peerfct reply! Thanks for taking the trouble.
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It sounds like all you ladies may have married "Closet Queen's", in other words, gay men who like to live a double life & appear normal to the outside world, but they are deceiver's & users! Read up on the internet "how to tell if your husband is gay!" It's a real eye opener!
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I have the same situatuion here. I'm married for al,ost four years with two kids. To make a long story short, my husband is a mama's boy. We are co- worker's before and I know how he likes to flirt with other girls. I need to stop working so that I can take care of our children and need to stay with my parents 'coz he cannot afford to provide us even an apartment with only him working. Now we're having a long distance relationship because his work was too far from my parents house and we're in this situation for only 6 mons now when I just noticed that the person I married is a different person now. We haven't got a clear closure 'coz he always avoid arguments or dramatic situation. I'm left hanging. I know that if we break up it'll be hard at first but knowing myself I know I can move on. My concern are my kids. I'm worried for them 'coz they're too young to live and understand the situation.
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My dear.. We are talking and believe me mine is even worse coz we have tried and tried to talk but all he does is promise to change but never does-u can imagine he spends all his off days drinking with his friends..I owez blamed myself saying maybe I wasn't good enough but not anymore because he is not worth it..
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I have been married 4 almost 2 years and belive me dears all that I want to do is kill my husband right now..he hardly spends an time with me but his friends drinking.. Honestly I regret ever having met him and just wish he was dead coz then I wouldn't have to think about him- we have tried talking but /od knows nothing changes.. Right now I just wish I would have some1 who would love me and make me feel secure.. These men they make u feel like a queen when they are after u only to treat u like trash
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My husband and I have been together for about 6 years and married for about 2 1/2 of those years. In the beginning of our relationship we worked at the same company and had the same schedule. Before we lived together he would go out of his way to spend time, commute to my house, and even plan dates;) We moved in together after a year of dating, I went back to school and our schedules changed a little bit. I moved further from my friends and family to his neck of the woods. As soon as we moved in together he no longer put in any effort into our relationship, we hardly even had sex. He spends a lot of time filling up his week with activities- softball, business meetings, friends. I am very jealous because he puts the effort into his "bromance," but says he is ok with the amount of time we spend together. We literally run into eachother sometimes during the week and might go grocery shopping everyother Sunday. It has gotten to the point where we get into fights and he says I need to be nicer to one of his friends that is here constantly. I don't know how to make my point that I am feeling neglected... ;(
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My husband and I have been together for 2 years and married for 10 days. I felt a little neglected before the wedding but unfortently, I still feel the same way. I feel like he would rather spend time with his neighbor than me. Every night they go and walk their dogs abour 3 miles and are typicaly gone 1-2 hours. He comes in, lays on the couch & falls asleep. On the weekends, he goes to the neighbors house to work on the truck. The day we got home from our honeymoon, he proceeded to go say hello to the neighbor and returned 3 hours later. I tried talking to him about it before but he only gets upset. Im rather lonely and he just does not understand it. I like our neighbor, he's a good guy who is married himself but I just dont understand why they want to spend every second with one another. I can't even eat dinner with my husband without his phone going off. Any advice??
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my husband choose his friends to lime, chat, play eat & drinks and very happy with them...
i am a very honest wife to him...but he don't love me or appreciate me.. i have done so much for him & nothing for me....
i think i should leave but go where.... rent! i have no money , i don't want a next man .. i love my hubby but he don't feel the same way......
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I am sorry that everyone is dealing with this. I am glad I'm not the only one, but I know how awful the situation is. My husband and I have been married for only 5 months. He's always been a "man's man," and I knew that when I married him. He is extremely close with his friends, and they are genuinely good guys. They are always very sweet, thoughtful, and respectful, and I have enjoyed spending time with them in the past. But, they do like to party. They don't necessarily go out - they usually gather at someone's house, drink beer, and talk. I've been present for a few of these gatherings - it's okay, but I have no one to talk to. I'm the only woman there, and I usually have no one to talk to. Additionally, my husband and his friends are from another country - I speak the language, but I am certainly not advanced enough to keep up with him and his friends at one of those gatherings, so I end up sitting by myself, staring at the wall. For this reason, I don't go anymore, and he doesn't typically invite me anyway. I understand that he needs "boy time," but I need "husband time". He goes to his friends' house nearly every night, and by the time he gets home, I'm in bed. Outside of this, we have a great relationship. He is loving, and treats me well. I have been getting depressed though, going to bed every night alone. I can go out with friends as well, but maybe once a week. I am tired of feeling left out and abandoned while he goes out. We share a car, so when he goes out, I am literally stuck at home. We spend time together during the day, but it would be nice to actually be included, or at least for him to acknowledge that I am spending every night alone. I know the man that I married, and I am not asking him to be here every night. Just enough so I don't feel so neglected. I would never want him to choose between me and his friends - I know that's a losing battle. I just want a little effort from him - just a few night a week! Is that unreasonable? To all those who are dealing with this as well, best of luck, and I hope you find a solution that is true to you and what you need. Don't undervalue yourselves, ladies.
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also try spending time with your husbands friends.find out why they are so interesting to be around.Try getting a hobby of your own or join your husbands hobby.I like to ask my husband if there's anything at lowes or home depot that he needs.he wont come shopping with me ,but he likes shopping for boy things .I dont mind i just want to hang out with him. why the other day i played a stupid video game called halo. just to show him i dont always expect do what i want all of the time.
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men like getting respect and attention just like us.Men like to feel important at all times.If they are not getting respect at home they will find it some where else.As long as the women are happy so they will be as well."Some men are dicks" if you want to think that,then you will never be happy thinking you are the victim. If you are constantly unhappy at home no wonder the men always want to be gone.THE TRICK IS FAKE BEING HAPPY EVEN WHEN YOUR NOT! ask your self Would i want to be around me?
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I have the same situation my husband give his friend more time and has anytime he become good friends with somebody he don't understand that he suppose to give his family some much needed time as well he just tell me thats his hobby and he go to his friend house all the time because he don't want to come home with to me and the kids he made a really hurtful remark he told me the devil put me and my kids in his life to stray him away from god and he told me he is stuck cause he don't want to se his kids being raised by another man so pretty much he cheats and do all his dirt and still come home because he needs to protect the kids but how can he do that when he is never here with them we have a 4 month old im not working know but when i do start guess who is gonna be getting up to get the kids ready and everything else while he still asleep. but he hates it when i say anything about him not spending time with us he says im nagging...i feel as if a man should know when to spend time with his family...
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Belive me men in our age group think about sexs and games that interest them. Arguing is not the way ,making him understand that if he leaves yet again he will be missing out of the time of his life. And you need to let him know that you will love him like no other and if he wants to wait a life time to know that,
well you will be long gone buy then and he will only feel pain .
maybe not know ,maybe not tomorrow but he will and .he will be the one kicken him self in the arce not you ,
some times when it's time to let thing go you just have to but by holding on will only only hurt your self .
I know from my past he is not treating you the way you should be treated, but you are your own person and it"s hard to listen to someone you don"t know but just take what I say into consideration ,please for your own sacker.
He is doing what you think I know It"S hard to hear but someone has to tell ya. I do hope thing"s work out for ya please do listen to other around ya suport is very improtant.
chantal
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i'm sure your husband loves you so much but for boys its so hard to let go there perivious life style you know boys night, staying late, talking longer hours on phone and there laptops it takes time to get used to marriage life for womans its easy so all you have to do is give him your best love and give him a space and pray for him he'll change and dont think about divorse that's is not even a choice. be strong mayGod help you
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I have been married for a year and a half now, and my husband is constantly over his brother's house, rather than at home with me. He works non-stop, and every opportunity he has, he will go over to his house and he won't come home until 1 or 2am. He smells of beer and expects me to be intimate with him. I get so disgusted from the smell, so I usually go and sleep in another room. I am so frustrated! I just don't know what to do anymore.
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Why is this sight called happy wives when everyone is so sad and unhappy
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Stay strong women have been single moms since the begining of time, it can be done. Just ask yourself is it really worth going through. Your baby is gonna be happy as long as you are. Talk to your husband tell him how you truly feel if he won't listen or compromise with you then maybe it's not worth saving. However don't give up so easy, at least make the effort to try before calling it quits.
IDE.
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I feel sad that so many of us have to go through these types of situations, I know How much it sucks to feel left out and alone. Makes u feel like you would have been better off being single since we are alone allthe time anyways. I however have a husband who works all the time even on his days off. Whenever he does get free time he is tired but not too tired to hang out with his boys and drink the night away and come home the next morning. Sorry to say ladies but this is a never-ending argument that can not be won. It's either u deal with it or u don't. I know it's easier said than done but the truth hurts. My husbands birthday is tomorrow and guess who he is gonna be spending it with, not me And the kids although he makes it seem like part of the time he will be with us once his friends show up he is gone, I'll be lucky if he even tells me he is leaving usually he just takes off with out saying a word. So, tomorrow as much as I'm gonna hate it I'm not gonna say anything. I'm gonna let it go why argue if there is no point in win ing he is only gonna see one way and that's his own. I'm gonna be the better person and stay with my kids. If he misses out that's on him. He willhave to look back on memories withhis friend instead of his family. I told hi
Do what u think is right. It hurts alot but I think eventually he will get tired of it or his friends will get families of there own hopefully by then it won't be to late. All I can say is be strong , we have the right to choose how we want to live our lives, like there is a way in there is always a way out. Sometimes we have to go through the bad to get to the good
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I guess all around the world women have same problem, my husband and I married for 10 years, and we have 8 year old daughter. We had the same problem until I got a job after birth. When I started going out with coworkers he got jealous and said lets be together all the time. Few months spent happy, then has asked me to leave the job and have another baby (cause I have terrible sickness when I am pregnant) now we are trying to concieve for 3 months
, no baby but he started going out again almost every night and he comes home at 5am in the morning like nothing happens,
It feels it seems he tricked me. If you love someone, can you trick like this, I dont think so. I told him if you dont love me anymore lets get divorce, cause it is better for my daughter ( having a dad that never plays with his daughter than having no father) but he sayd he loves me and he will change but after 2 days, again he is gone till 4 or 5 am... I dont know what to do. I thought 10 years is enough to understand each other but I guess I was wrong. I can tell one thing MEN NEVER CHANGE.
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my husband is controlling
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Hi ladies... My husband has more than 20 friends who he keeps in contact all times. He attends all their calls even if we are having private moments and dont bother to stop the conversation and to be with me. He loves spending and going out for his friends. He tries to take me along but I have to stay like a tail behind him watching him busy with his friends. We went for honey moon but with a few couples of his friends and wifes. When we fell short of a room in the hotel, he thought of putting me along with the wifes of his friends in a room who I am not friendly with and even forgot it was our honeymoon. I had to argue a lot to finally sleep with him that night. I cook and do things that he loves, but he somehow tend to forget me when he is with his friends. He is ready to spend for his friends much but frowns when I ask to buy things for me. We have no kids after 2 years of marriage. As soon as he finds me angry or down, he mumbles "I love you" and gets back to his regular routine of talking and chatting wiht friends. The only thing he is worried is whether I would leave back home and that would bring disgrace for him. I love him but I am tore apart between staying with him and leaving him. I dont know what to do.
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Well Ladies...I am here with you too. I am not sure how long ago all of this was posted, but I am here looking for help. Unfortunatly unlike you ladies my husband is home after work. I greet him with a smile, hug and kiss at the door. He loves his son and plays wiht him for a few minutes until dinner is on the table, we eat dinner and play with the kids...or should I say he plays with them while I clean up, walk the dog, give kids baths and feed our infant son. After all of this he showers and relaxes with me for about 20 minutes or so...then at 8:30pm he leaves the house to go play video games with his BF at his house 20 minutes away and is there till 2am. He comes home crawls into bed and leaves at 5am to go to work. This is daily. What makes this crazy is he gets mad if we don't have sex.hahaha I say then stay home and we could! I guess he thinks we will do it while the kids are bathing so he can leave me again. I have been dealing with this for 2 years and hate it! I just keep praying that this will all change and he will grow up and realize that he has it good. I never nag him, and support anything that he does even when he lost his job while I was pregnant and went on maternaty leave...I got my job back and worked full time and still came home to take care of my wifely duties; never nagged just told him it was a bump in the road. Last night was my first night to ever just completely blow up and that is because I actually asked him to stay home because I was sick and he snuk out of the house!!!! I just don't feel I deserve to be treated this way, but I am hoping for a miracle!
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old blues song:Before you accuse me tale a look at yourself.
Read your replies with an open mind,all I see is he must come bacl and do his duty.I bet all he hears is your bad, very bad.
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Shannon: I am not sure how old this post is but I will be praying for you. Remember that the little girl in your belly loves you and thinks that you walk on water, even if your husband doesn't. You are her mommy! She is a miracle and so are your other children. I don't have any advice. Sorry. My husband goes out with his friends too. That is why I am searching for some answers too. I have been called crazy. You are not crazy. You have a right to feel the way that you feel. It is lonely being home without your husband. I understand! We need a team mate that is why God designed us to be with a husband. It seems these days husbands, and men in general, don't want to grow up or take on the role of supporter and provider. I wish that your husband and mine would want to be with us but they don't. I don't believe they will change. It is just the way they are. I am really considering a divorce as well. Just pray and listen to what God puts on you heart to do. He will always provide for you if you do end up leaving your husband. Pray for your husband too. Maybe he will change.
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Im in the exact same boat. I have two children and one on the way and my husband goes out every night to be with his friends for the past 3 weeks and Its getting really depressing to be home alone every night and having to explain to the kids that daddy wont be home till late. I dont know what to do, cause I cant talk to him. He is either under the influence of beer, cause he drinks before he comes home, or he is high. he says he is doing nothing wrong by hanging with his friends and he says he doesnt enjoy being home cause we fight, but we dont fight till I find out he made plans to go out again. He thinks Im crazy and tells me this is who he is and if I dont like it then either I can make changes or find someone who will make me happy. Im depressed now cause we are expecting our third baby girl and we have been married for 6 years. I cant even find a way out of this mess. I could not afford a place big enough for me and three kids and have no one to go live with. Im stuck and wish I was never pregnant, but Im 5 months along and there is nothing i can do about it. Its almost suicidal....
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anyone have any answeres to my posting
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im in my 2nd year of my second marraige. over the past year I have noticed more he wants to plan things with his friends than spend time with just him and I. we used to go fishing go to the beach, now he plans things with his friends and tells me afterwords. then he says I can come if I want. I want to and probably would if we had time just the two of us first. I have arranged a day to go fishing and before we even go he calls his friends and says we are going fishing you should meet us there. He is a truck driver and is gone alot days at a time and other days I am on call with my job so I want to cherish the days off together. when we do get time together he chooses to stay home and drink some beers but I am bored of sitting home looking at the same walls with him talking about the same things. He has been sleeping alot lately and with the time out with his friends we went a day or so not talking much, then just the other day, he came to me and told me he was dying and only had 5 years to live. he said he knew for 8 months but didn't want to tell me because I was dealing with my dad dying . I feel angry and sad at the same time. he also doesn't want me to tell anyone nor does he want treatment, he claims he has accepted it. his father died of the same thing at a young age. I told him I wanted to go with him to the doctor for a conference. he said he would schedule an appointment, incase I didn't believe him. I told him it wasn't that I didn't believe him but that it was rather alot to dump on someone and as your wife I have a right to hear it from the doctor to. His choice not to tell family or friends is his right and his fears of being treated different is porbably true, and I respect those wishes, however he told me tonight he was going somewhere with his buddy this weekend and I told him that I would like to do something just him and I and he didn't answer me. what do I do. who do I talk to. should I say we need to see a therapist? should I be patient for the doctors appointment ? should I give him a time frame to make the appointment? should I just ask for a divorce?
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You deserve better and so do your children. Leave him, maybe he will comes to his senses - if not then dump him.
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I agree, dump him, you will find someone who wants to spend time with you and your children - you and the children deserve this.
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dump him, he won't change, mine hasn't
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