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My husband and I are always fighting because of the lack of time he invests in our marriage. He has started a new business and our marriage seems to be taking the brunt of his neglect, we hardly have time to spend with each other like before. I know that he is working hard trying to make a life for us but I feel that he needs to balance our marriage and his business. I have given him time to adjust but this situation has been happening for a year and I cannot take it anymore. What should I do? How can I tell him that time spent together is very important in a marriage? I feel that his business is more important than me. Please help.
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There are few things in life, which are completely consuming and absorbing, as falling in love. Everyone who gets married knows in their mind that problems will arise, however, in our hearts, we try to be optimistic that with our partner we can resolve any problem. When I got married I remember thinking I would be happy for the rest of my life, my husband treated me like a queen. Six months into our marriage I was shocked by his personality change. I was very upset when I found out that all he wanted to do was to spend his free time with his friends. I hated having to cook and clean for them whenever they came by (which was every weekend), we had no alone time together. There was no privacy in our marriage; I had no friends of my own, as I was very young when I left my parent’s home. I would hide in my bedroom and cry all the time; I took comfort in the fact that he was a good father and provider. I am sure he loved me in his own way but he continued to carry on with his own life, which had little or nothing to do with me. He passed approximately 3 years ago and still the emptiness remains. Try to do whatever you can to come to some compromise, as the time you spend together is very precious.
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We have been married for 12 years, my husband is very entrepreneurial, we have had good years and bad (financially and emotionally), but we promised to support each other no matter what. During this time however, our life together has been tense and sexless, no fun at all. In order to keep my sanity I have taken up activities such as swimming, dance lessons etc.Try and find ways to meed your husband in a loving and supportive manner because I have found ways to manage the stress I feel. Do what make you feel good so that you are not sitting around waiting on him to come home, you will find that the smallest amount of quite time that you spend with him will be rewarding. During this time your respect and support for him will only strengthen your marriage. It is hard, I know that, but you can do it and you are likely to be deeply rewarded. Another suggestion is this, maybe you can try to include yourself in the business. You can't rely on him to soothe you right now because he is struggling too.
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I would definitely try and talk with him about it, explain exactly how you're feeling. It is unreasonable for him to put his business ahead of you. Is there a way you can help with the business so that you can spend more time together? Hopefully you can both come to an agreement on making things better. Try offering some type of compromise.
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