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I have learned through the Song of Songs, which uses the alegory of a husband and wife to explain the longing of G-d for His People, and vice versa. The only problem is that I don't necessarily have that longing for my husband this way, but I want to. I feel that he does not have the capabilities to have the depth of communication and understanding that I long for in a relationship. I am not leaving him because of this, but close friends who know that I feel this way encourage me that he can change. We are married for 15 years now, seen several therapists both together and alone, and although I enjoy physical intimacy with him, the emotional level is just not there. Am I wrong to give up hoping for change and just look to friends for understanding?
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Miriam, I think hope is a powerful "concept" and can lead to insanity if that is all one thinks about all the time. However, I would not give up on hoping, just don't let it consume your entire life. As far as friends, they can only provide and do so much for you. The reality is we cannot mold our signicant other into a perfect being that understand every aspect of us...so what is the solution? There is no single solution, other wise I would be a milliionaire (lol). However, I have to pieces of advice: change your thoughts (focus) and/or change the situation and see were it leads you.
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