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My husband refuses to clean up after himself, how can I get him to help out around the house. We always fight about this.
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I also agree with Tara. I think we all have to learn to work together as a team. Its something that develops with effort and time. While your developing this, I'm sure your great at other things that other couples struggle with. We all have stuff to work thru, HANG in there and don't get discouraged. If its leading to arguements I'd maybe think about what kind of attitude your approaching your mate with, negative or positive? Think about how you'd feel if you were approached like you do him. Also how you instead might like to be approached. Its important we feel valued. You might also make sure when he does something around the house that you say something nice about it "to him". It will reinforce what your really hoping for and appreciate in him. I'd also recommend "The 5 Love Languages" book by Gary Chapman. You sound like a woman who really feels loved when he does acts of service like housework for you. I would bet his language is not "acts of service" and does other things in his love language for you that you don't recognize. Read it, I bet it will be helpful in how to better approach him. God bless.
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I husband is RARE... he's a cleany. I am not a slob but I know he stresses out more about housework than I. He just can't seem to relax until "everything" is in order. We all clean differently and have different expectations. We all learn as we go in our marriages about each other even no matter how long we've been married. He may not care about the same things or realize how his approach/choices are effecting you. Try to communicate your need for help and with what without nagging. Do it when your both fresh. Otherwise it will fall on dead ears and he will think your just having a bad day or tired. As women its hard, but also try to make sure your expectations are realistic of him as well as of yourself. We can only do so much and its Ok! Make sure your priority list isn't just a "to do" list of activities. Make sure it consists of what really matters in life like enjoying your husband even if it means doing the dishes later. In the end what matters is your investment in each other.
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I feel bad for you that your husband is do not help around the house. My husband and I share in the housework, he helps out more than he needs to. I clean, cook and take care of the children all day and he willingly steps in and helps with laundry, dishes and even takes out the garbage to boot. I think you need to find an approach to this matter, I would suggest that you stop doing his laundry, I think he will start helping out more once he runs out of clean underwear. Or, as a last resort if both of you are working, hire someone to come in to do some of the more strenuous work.
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Try not to argue with him about it, this will only make things worst. Just leave things as he has left them. Then hopefully he will see the mess and realize how bad he is making it and the amount of housework you have to deal with.
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